Top 11 Cryptic Movie Spoilers

 

I was having a bad day when I wrote this, so I decided to spoil a bunch of movies for everyone. Then, I felt better, so I removed all of the movie titles, so you won’t know what I’m spoiling.

 

The List:

11. Indy gets his hat back

10. Jar-Jar doesn’t die, comes back to stink up the next two movies

9. The time stream is damaged so much that hover boards never get invented

8. Batman gets some

7. Luke’s father is a dark lord of the Sith, and his mother is the Black Swan

6. Wash won’t be back for the sequel.  Also, there probably won’t be a sequel

5. At the end, there IS only one

4. Voldemort dies before being reunited with his nose

3. Frodo will never bowl again

2. It turns out, you CAN cross the streams

1. HULK LIKE SHWARMA!

 

Follow more of NegativSteve’s rants on Aquaman on his Tumblr: Steve Hates Aquaman.

 

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