The Olympics are upon us, a bi-annual event that allows us to watch the best specimens of humanity compete in athletic competition. Unfortunately, humanity has become really boring. Here are my ideas for new events to add to the Olympics, so we can see the best of meta-humanity.
11. Monologuing
10. Telekinetic power lifting
9. Web swinging
8. Batarang skeet shoot
7. The 100 Parsec Dash
6. Steel girder curling
5. Quidditch
4. Boxing glove archery
3. Falling victims catch. (Spider-man has been banned from this event since the Gwen Stacy incident of 1973)
2. Demon wrestling, both personal and literal
1. A revised Triathlon – swimming, fish talking, and whining
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