The Internet has been hit by a new plague; not a computer virus, but something far more insidious. They are called “Which one are you?” quizzes, and they have infected the Facebook pages of everyone I know. Thanks to Zimbio and Buzzfeed, I now know which Hogwarts house, Star Wars character, and Sex in the City Girl each of my friends truly is. But that isn’t enough information; I will not stop until I know the pop cultural details of everyone I have ever met. To that end, here are 11 more quizzes that should round out this information, along with my answers
11. Which gang from The Warriors are you?
I am a Baseball Fury, because I look good in pinstripes and swing a mean bat
10. Which Pac Man ghost are you?
I am Clyde, because I am warm-hearted, trustworthy, and my name doesn’t end with an E sound
9. What inexplicably popular YouTube music video are you?
I thought I would be a Gangam Style, because I can’t dance. It turns out, I am What Does the Fox Say? because I make strange noises
8. What character from the old Namco TMNT videogame are you?
Donatello. Everyone knows Donatello is the superior turtle
7. Which classic Twilight Zone episode are you?
Eye of the Beholder, because I am beautiful on the inside, but not so much to look at
6. Which Facts of Life girl are you?
I am Natalie, because I have a weight problem, but that does not stop me from living life to the fullest
5. Which character missing from the New 52 are you?
I am Flex Mentallo, the Man of Mystery Muscle, because no one has heard of me and if they didn’t, they wouldn’t understand me
4. Which non-canonical Batman ’66 tv show villain are you?
I am the Bookworm, because I think Roddy McDowell is cool
3. Which Atari 2600 game are you?
I am Yar’s Revenge, because I am abstract and enjoy eating pixels
2. Which beloved 80s cult movie are you?
Real Genius, naturally
1. Which Top 11 list are you?
I am Top 11 Porno Parodies of 2014, because people laugh at me when I am trying to have sex with them