I love being a part of the Nerd community here in Phoenix; great people, costumes, culture and fun! What more could a geeky girl ask for? However, in any community there is always some that is ruins it for everyone.
In the cosplay circuit, there is a relatively attractive geeky girl who did a great cosplay, took a great picture, had it get picked up and overnight became the object of obsession for drooling geek guys everywhere. With this fame came the creation of a monster; she became a diva, demanding, using people and just overall not a nice person, all because she put on a skimpy outfit and smiled.
Ladies, don’t become this girl!
In my previous column, I went over tips for enhancing your outward appearance. These improvements can get you the positive attention you are looking for but there are a few things that can happen; one, becoming a powergirl level diva (please, don’t become a powergirl level diva) or two (which is more likely) you don’t know what to do now that you look the part.
My previous suggestions were more geared toward everyday activities, so now that you look ready to date, how do you get a date?
There are three easy ways to get a date with a guy:
- Find out something he likes that you like. Most of us geeks tend to flaunt our geekiness, so take a look at their shirts, desk areas, comics they are reading, without fail a guy will be showing off what he likes in some way. For Stephen, my fiance, it was his hoody. He ALWAYS wears a Zelda hoddy, so it was an easy conversation starter.
- Be the first one to start the conversation. I can’t tell you how many times people in passing stop Stephen and tell him “Love the hoody” or “OMG! Zelda is my favorite!”. Be that girl. Tell him “I like your ‘blank’” then follow it up with a question like “what is your favorite character/book/game/comic”. This shows that you like what he likes first and foremost
- Get his contact info. This can be his number, email or Facebook. I know this sounds crazy, because you probably thought the next one is to ask out on a date. NO! Become a friends, show interest, THEN ask to go see a movie or whatever. If it seems harmless like “hey, want to hangout” that is way less scary to a guy then “want to go on a date?” Because what they tend to hear is “I LOVE YOU! MARRY ME AND MAKE LOTS OF BABIES!”Stephen and I went to Barnes & Noble to check out books on our first hangout. We just talked and really enjoyed each other’s company. We occasionally brushed hands until one of grabbed the others.
Whether you are shy or outgoing, there are a few things you can do to accomplish what you are looking for:
- Shy Girls: This tends to be the most common trait of a geeky girl and it is totally ok, until you find yourself at home alone on Friday night watching Doctor Who for the 5th time with all your cats. I totally get that talking with anyone, let alone a guy you are potentially into is the hardest thing on the planet, but remember he is just as freaked-out about the idea of talking to a girl as you do.Yes Ladies, guys freak out too! I know I have said it before, but really just find something in common with a guy and talk to him, smile and look the part.
- Forward Girls: This is the next most common girl (and where I fall). I have always loved to be in front of people, lead, talk, whatever, commanding a room is my thing. But there is a line between forward and bossy bitch. Try not to dominate the conversation, be too loud, ask questions and listen (without interrupting) and try not to make the guy feel insulted by teasing or a joke. I also encourage you to banter, but toe-the-line you don’t want to scare him off.
- Obnoxious Girls: Just don’t be this girl. No one likes a Know-it-all in any culture, but especially in a geeky one. Everyone has their opinions, thoughts and theories for their obsessions, and nothing is worse than a pushy woman who doesn’t let others make their point, shoving her views down their throats and not being open-minded to different ideas. Don’t be a diva, don’t be mean, let others think what they want and never insult someone.
Dating is easier than you think it is all about timing, letting guys know you are available and remember it will take a few red shirts before you get to your captain.