Top 11 Other Disney Acquisitions

 

By now, everyone knows that Disney acquired LucasFilms this week, and everyone has already heard every Star Wars/Mickey Mouse joke that I might have thought of.  But did you know that LucasFilms was just one part of Disney’s ambitious plans?

 

11. NASA – Little known fact: on his deathbed, Walt made his heirs promise that they would someday establish a Disneyland on Pluto.
disney, star wars, Top 11

 

10. NFL – Think of how much fun the new helmets will be when they have Mickey ears attached.

disney, star wars, Top 11

 

9. Saturdays – An entire day dedicated to nothing but going to their theme parks and watching their specials, as mandated by law.

disney, star wars, Top 11

 

8. Microsoft – Now pronounced “Mick-ro-soft”.

disney, star wars, Top 11

 

7. CNN – Only good news will be broadcast.  “America has donated unsolicited explosive technology to the Mid East from a high altitude, helping them with their overpopulation problem and creating new jobs in the construction industry!”

disney, star wars, Top 11

 

6. Montana – They need a lot of wide open space to start building their Dea.., er… Happiness Star.

disney, star wars, Top 11

 

5. US Supreme Court – This is a necessary acquisition to ward off future monopoly lawsuits, for when they acquire all known media.

disney, star wars, Top 11

 

4. A nuclear arsenal – Only to be used as a DVD piracy deterrent, of course.

disney, star wars, Top 11

 

3. The Anti-Christ – the Apocalypse is still scheduled for December, but at least we’ll go out with a song.

disney, star wars, Top 11

 

2. The letter M – McDonalds didn’t want to sell until Disney acquired item #4.

disney, star wars, Top 11

 

1. Negativsteve – Disney has even managed to purchase your incorruptible author, who urges you to see Wreck It Ralph, in theaters everywhere.

disney, star wars, Top 11

 

 

Follow more of NegativSteve’s rants on his Tumblr: http://stevehatesaquaman.tumblr.com/

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