10. NFL – Think of how much fun the new helmets will be when they have Mickey ears attached.
9. Saturdays – An entire day dedicated to nothing but going to their theme parks and watching their specials, as mandated by law.
8. Microsoft – Now pronounced “Mick-ro-soft”.
7. CNN – Only good news will be broadcast. “America has donated unsolicited explosive technology to the Mid East from a high altitude, helping them with their overpopulation problem and creating new jobs in the construction industry!”
6. Montana – They need a lot of wide open space to start building their Dea.., er… Happiness Star.
5. US Supreme Court – This is a necessary acquisition to ward off future monopoly lawsuits, for when they acquire all known media.
4. A nuclear arsenal – Only to be used as a DVD piracy deterrent, of course.
3. The Anti-Christ – the Apocalypse is still scheduled for December, but at least we’ll go out with a song.
2. The letter M – McDonalds didn’t want to sell until Disney acquired item #4.
1. Negativsteve – Disney has even managed to purchase your incorruptible author, who urges you to see Wreck It Ralph, in theaters everywhere.
Follow more of NegativSteve’s rants on his Tumblr: http://stevehatesaquaman.tumblr.com/