Top 11 Other Subversive Organizations Controlling Our Government


The world was shocked by revelations in Captain America 2 and Agents of SHIELD that our top espionage organization has been infiltrated by an enemy agency for years. This should not come as a shock, though; look how many other sinister agencies have infiltrated the government over the years.


11. Wizards of the Coast – Obama has been having so many problems with budget negotiations because he was not able to tap enough green mana.


10. Sunshine Biscuits – It would be a promotional coup if they can get all of those senators to start yelling “Hail Hydrox!”.


9. The Know Nothing Party – This anti-Masonic party is thought to have been disbanded in the 19th century, but who else could be responsible from keeping the Free Masons from conquering the world for the last 150 years.


8. Zamboni – How else could they hold their precious monopoly on ice rinks without extensive government patronage?


7. Burger King – Slinging burgers is only a distraction from this organization’s true goal to restore the monarchy.


6. The Gideon Society – Responsible for placing Bibles in hotel rooms and dreams of a New World Order in the heads of congressmen.


5. Alcoholics Anonymous – With so many prominent politicians as members, it’s no wonder they want to stay anonymous.


4. Goodwill Industries – Soon, you will be able to buy nuclear subs for half off during Red Tag days.


3. Ashley Madison – How do all of these old, ugly politicians keep attracting such hot mistresses? This website has created an entire shadow government based on its clients.


2. Late Night Talk Show Hosts – These insidious nuisances conspire to keep the government as inefficient as possible, to give them new monologue material every night.


1. Girl Scouts – Government interference is the only possible explanation for why the FDA continues to allow them to add mind control drugs to their cookies.


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