Top 11 Upcoming Comicbook Shows on Cable

May 16, 2014

Over the last week, the major networks have announced six new comic book related shows coming in the Fall. Not to be outdone, the basic cables channels are all scrambling to capture the zeitgeist and create their own comic franchises, with mixed results….

11. The Food Network – Cooking with Household Items, hosted by Tenzil Kim. The Legion of Superheroes’ Matter Eater Lad teaches America how to get the best taste from common items around the house, including utensils, towels, and drywall.

10. Cartoon Network – Watchmen Babies – The character’s from one of the greatest comic stories of all time, now in adorable kid form! The Blu-ray of season 1 will feature an alternate audio track of creator Alan Moore wailing and gnashing his teeth through each episode.

9. MTV – Dazzler’s Discotheque – A throwback to the dance shows of the 70s, hosted by a throwback to the disco superheroes of the 70s.

8. HGTV – Poison Ivy’s Greenhouse Tips – Gotham City’s favorite horticulturist will help you grow your garden to a size that is visible from orbit.

7. Bravo – Mutant Eye for the Mundane Guy – Wolverine and his group of homo superiors invade the house of an unsuspecting victim and teach him to be hunted and despised by the rest of humanity.

6. SyFy – GhostHunters 616 – Follow renowned psychic investigator Damien Hellstrom as he hunts down the supernatural and sends it back to Hell.

5. CNN – Transmetropolitan – The all-news cable network sponsors its first scripted show, about a cyberpunk news journalist from the future. Wolf Blitzer looks great in the role of Spider Jerusalem.

4. BBC America – The Adventures of Captain Britain – This is about something, but no one cares because it isn’t Doctor Who.

3. Science Channel – Everything You Know Is Wrong, hosted by Reed Richards. Dr Richards explores the fascinating world of super-science, and assures you that all of your knowledge of conventional science has been replaced with unstable molecules and cosmic rays.

2. Disney Channel – Darkwing Duck and the Guardians of the Galaxy – Putting their massive corporate synergy to good use, Disney has combined an animated hero from the 80s with their live action juggernaut coming this summer, and watched the hilarity ensue.

1. A&E – Howard the Duck Dynasty – Howard and his wife Beverly must raise their son Chuck in a world he never made.