Top 11 Upcoming Television Deaths

December 8, 2013

Brian Griffin has died from injuries sustained after being hit by a car. Hershel was decapitated on the Walking Dead. There was some brouhaha at a wedding on Game of Thrones. Doctor Who was… well, we don’t know how he died yet, but we know he’s going to regenerate on Christmas. What other beloved TV characters will die before the season of blood is over?

11. Sideshow Bob will grow tired of failing to kill Bart Simpson, and will murder his sister Maggie instead.

10. On Arrow, the character of Roy Harper will have a baby daughter introduced, only to have her murdered by a terrorist. This will cause him to go insane and start throwing cats at people. (I did not make this up, this is comic book accurate. HE THREW CATS AT PEOPLE)

9. On the Tomorrow People, one of the psychic’s heads will blow up. I don’t know which one, because none of them have developed enough personality to be memorable

8. On Agents of SHIELD, either Fitz or Simmons will be killed by a supervillain; SHIELD will need to recruit a new agent that not only has the appropriate skills, but has a name that fits a theme

2937940SJS007_clivedavis — Let’s be honest. He brings out the murderous rage in us all.

7. Adam Savage is found dead after he confirms that the myth of Candyman is dangerously real

6. On a very special episode of the Nerdist, Matt Mira finally blows a gasket and axe murders his co hosts after one too many Dave Matthews jokes

5. Twilight Sparkle breaks her leg and gets sent to the glue factory

4. Joss Whedon announces a special 2-hour Angel reunion, just so he could kill all of the characters he didn’t get around to killing while the series was on the air.

3. The news that Manic Pixie Dream Girls can induce Type 2 Diabetes did not come early enough to save Jess’ roommates on The New Girl

2. On the Headless Horsemen, all the major characters die, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse attack humanity, and the Earth dies screaming, THAT is how you cancel a show