I have a wonderful girlfriend: geeky, smart, funny (in her own way) and over all the holy grail of nerdy girls. She love Star Trek, Star Wars, anime, festivals, cons, blah, blah, blah. She is ready to rock out with her gak out.
However, there is one crucial flaw: herself.
Like most geeky people, she suffer the character flaw of being shy. This shyness tends to put geeks into an awkward place of frumpiness, whoa-is-me and the “friend zone”. And let me tell you ladies and gents, there is nothing less appealing or more irritating that a perfectly wonderful person who is doing themselves a disservice.
I am going to cover this in three parts: Appearance, Attitude/Personality and Taking Charge.
Whoever said “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” clearly never opened a comic book. The first sign of attraction is eye-to-body. Now I know some of you are like “great, I am screwed”. That is not true. While our geek world feeds us superheros with gravity defying breasts and ripped hard bodies, it is important to understand a little bit of science comes into play here.
There is a very interesting documentary called “Science of Sex Appeal” that really breaks down how people end up together based on body type. The study says that people pair up with people of similar attraction level on a scale of 1-10. While women will be more choosy, in the end people end up being paired with people with an attraction level within 1 or 2 numbers of them. So if you are a 5, you will most likely end up with a person with the physical looks ranging from 4-6.
Now, how can you make yourself the best version of yourself, well that comes into grooming and personal maintenance.
I should let you know (if you don’t already) I am a big girl. My life is pretty crazy and working out is not my priority. However, it doesn’t stop me from taking pride in how I look. Whatever your physical limitations are, it is not an excuse to not put your best foot forward.
Here are a few suggestions:
- General grooming: I know this one sounds like common sense, but let’s be honest we have all fallen victim to comic book shop nerd funk. It isn’t just a matter of taking a shower, it is grooming. Shave or trim things that need to be shaved, find a separate face wash for your face, moisturize, use deodorant and brush your teeth (twice a day please). I also suggest exfoliating once a week. You’d be surprised how dirty your skin can get over the course of a week. Here is a great resource for DIY grooming.
- Makeup: Ladies I am not saying you need to go full force, but a little under eye concealer and mascara goes a long way. Find a look that works for you, that is easy to do and is unique to your face, bone structure and eye color. Oh and don’t forget the lip gloss.
- Do Your Hair! I know we all love to just roll out of bed, throw on a hat or pull our hair back into a ponytail, but when you are looking for love, you’d be surprised how just simply doing your hair can make all the difference in attracting someone. It is important to find a style that is right for your head and face shape, but that you are also easily able to maintain. For guys, I suggest going to a female hair stylist and tell her you are looking for a sensible hairstyle that works with your face. Ladies, same for your, but make sure to consider brightening up your color, getting a blowout, and make sure however they style your hair that you can easily do it in the morning yourself. I’d say nothing more than 20 minutes.
It isn’t too hard, but these simple changes in your routine, will really make all the difference, not only in how others see you, but how you feel about yourself.
Now clothes. Don’t worry, I am not looking to take your nerdy cloths from you, I just want to expand your horizons.
- Nerdy Shirts: This one is tough. We all love to support of favorite show and movies and even those goofy shirts that talk to you, but it is about wearing them right. First, they should fit, not hang off you or be super tight. No stains, fading or holes. Also, dress them up. Wear jeans with them that fit; that means no butt crack, muffin tops, super baggy or ankles showing. Guys you can wear a fitted blazer with them, ladies you can pair the right shirt with a skirt, tights and heels.
- Dress It Up: Think about how much you enjoy seeing a well dressed man or a woman who is wearing a dress that is just right. Now imagine if you were that man or woman. Awesome right?! Find your self some well fitted outfits. Men, this includes: slacks, sweaters, polos, and button up shirts (with a tie and without). Ladies, a well-fitting, comfy dress is easy to find, just takes some work. I also suggest a few pencil skirts, slacks, blazers and cardigans.
- Shoes: Sneakers and flip-flops are great, but get some nice shoes. You can tell a lot about a person by their shoes, what will yours say about you?
Remember, these suggestions are not to change you, but make you a better physical version of yourself. By no means, should this be painful or something that changes WHO you are. Just keep in mind: you know what you want in a partner, now let your outsides put your best foot forward for that eye-to-body attraction.