Christmas presents piled underneath a christmas tree.

If you’re like me, every year you run into the same problem: you love pop culture more than you love your family, but how do you shop for someone that doesn’t exist? Well, I’m here to help you out with this holiday gift guide for your favorite 80’s characters.

11. John McClane – Toe socks, so he can make fists with his feet but still run across broken glass

10. Gizmo the Mogwai – Sunscreen, waterproof clothing, and appetite suppressants

9. The Fifth Doctor – A new stalk of celery, grown in the shape of a question mark

8. RoboCop – A computer virus that will purge his memory of any sequels

7. MC Skat Kat – A year-long subscription to J-Date, because opposites attract

6. Johnny the Paperboy – $2.50. After the efforts he put into collecting the bill, he deserves a 25% tip

5. Winston Zeddemore – Hire another African American, so he no longer has to be “The Black GhostBuster”

4. Buckaroo Banzai – A GPS system, so he can be more precise in determining where he is going and where he actually is

3. Ellen Ripley – Another way to make sure, that doesn’t involve nukes

2. Roddy Piper – More bubblegum

1. Prince Adam – A personal stylist that won’t make him look like the forgotten member of the Village People

 

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