Skyfall, a gritty re-imaging of the James Bond franchise, has been doing very well at the box office for the past month, and Hollywood has taken notice.  Expect to see a lot more grim, gritty versions of your favorite characters.

 

11.When Penny and Brain are killed by terrorists, Inspector Gadget must come out of retirement to enact a bloody vengeance on the evil Dr Klaw.

Inspector Gadget by ninjaink.deviantart.com

 

10. An ex-sailor with a massive physical deformity and a substance abuse issue fights an obese former comrade over the fickle affections of a woman with an eating disorder, in the new remake of Popeye.

Popeye by artist Lee Romao

 

9. An orphan with no eyeballs is led into a series of dangerous adventures by her unscrupulous mentor and his group of racial stereotype servants; there will be no songs in this version of Little Orphan Annie.

Little Orphan Annie. http://ok-panic.net/little-orphan-annie

 

8. After suffering a harrowing ordeal at the hands of Old Man Johnson who runs the general store, four teens suffer a massive psychotic break, believe they can speak to their dog, and wander the country in search of others who believe in ghosts.

Scooby Doo

7. Bill and Ted have an excellent adventure in the Middle Ages, but when they return, they introduce the Black Plague into the 21st century.

Bill & Ted

 

6. In the new version of Home Alone, a family forgets their young child when they go on vacation; he must set traps to protect his home against the CPS agents investigating his parents for child endangerment.

 

5. A group of gremlins terrorize a small town.  This is just a re-release of the original Gremlins film, because how much more traumatic could it get?  Come on, it has a graphic depiction of a gremlin being blown up in the microwave.

 

4. Alf is an alien scout pretending to be abandoned; he moves in with a suburban family, while scouting Earth’s defenses in preparation for summoning the Melmacian Felinocide Armada.

 

3. The Wonder Twins finally snap after years of being taunted for their pointy ears and purple jumpsuits.  They take the form of a grizzly and shape of an ice-chainsaw and massacre an entire town.

Wonder Twins

 

2. After getting prescription glasses, Elmer Fudd’s aim becomes surprisingly good.  He pioneers a new variant on the turducken, involving a duck, a rabbit, and a pig.

 

1. Charlie Brown, a lovable loser with a schizophrenic dog, has the football snatched away from him one too many times and finally snaps in a pyrokinetic rage.

 

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