Top 11 Gritty Remakes of Beloved Franchises

 movies, negativsteve, remakes, Top 11

Skyfall, a gritty re-imaging of the James Bond franchise, has been doing very well at the box office for the past month, and Hollywood has taken notice.  Expect to see a lot more grim, gritty versions of your favorite characters.

 

11.When Penny and Brain are killed by terrorists, Inspector Gadget must come out of retirement to enact a bloody vengeance on the evil Dr Klaw.

movies, negativsteve, remakes, Top 11
Inspector Gadget by ninjaink.deviantart.com

 

10. An ex-sailor with a massive physical deformity and a substance abuse issue fights an obese former comrade over the fickle affections of a woman with an eating disorder, in the new remake of Popeye.

movies, negativsteve, remakes, Top 11
Popeye by artist Lee Romao

 

9. An orphan with no eyeballs is led into a series of dangerous adventures by her unscrupulous mentor and his group of racial stereotype servants; there will be no songs in this version of Little Orphan Annie.

movies, negativsteve, remakes, Top 11
Little Orphan Annie. http://ok-panic.net/little-orphan-annie

 

8. After suffering a harrowing ordeal at the hands of Old Man Johnson who runs the general store, four teens suffer a massive psychotic break, believe they can speak to their dog, and wander the country in search of others who believe in ghosts.

movies, negativsteve, remakes, Top 11
Scooby Doo

7. Bill and Ted have an excellent adventure in the Middle Ages, but when they return, they introduce the Black Plague into the 21st century.

movies, negativsteve, remakes, Top 11
Bill & Ted

 

6. In the new version of Home Alone, a family forgets their young child when they go on vacation; he must set traps to protect his home against the CPS agents investigating his parents for child endangerment.

movies, negativsteve, remakes, Top 11

 

5. A group of gremlins terrorize a small town.  This is just a re-release of the original Gremlins film, because how much more traumatic could it get?  Come on, it has a graphic depiction of a gremlin being blown up in the microwave.

movies, negativsteve, remakes, Top 11

 

4. Alf is an alien scout pretending to be abandoned; he moves in with a suburban family, while scouting Earth’s defenses in preparation for summoning the Melmacian Felinocide Armada.

movies, negativsteve, remakes, Top 11

 

3. The Wonder Twins finally snap after years of being taunted for their pointy ears and purple jumpsuits.  They take the form of a grizzly and shape of an ice-chainsaw and massacre an entire town.

movies, negativsteve, remakes, Top 11
Wonder Twins

 

2. After getting prescription glasses, Elmer Fudd’s aim becomes surprisingly good.  He pioneers a new variant on the turducken, involving a duck, a rabbit, and a pig.

movies, negativsteve, remakes, Top 11

 

1. Charlie Brown, a lovable loser with a schizophrenic dog, has the football snatched away from him one too many times and finally snaps in a pyrokinetic rage.

movies, negativsteve, remakes, Top 11

 

Follow more of NegativSteve’s rants on his Tumblr: http://stevehatesaquaman.tumblr.com/

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