The-Hobbit-poster-2

The first of three movies adapting JRR Tolkien’s beloved book “The Hobbit” comes out this weekend. Since they are making only three movies to cover one book, obviously a lot of stuff will need to be left out…

11. Bilbo’s sister Cilco makes a brief appearance, but their other brother is never mentioned.

10. After agreeing to leave the Shire with the dwarves, Bilbo misses the owl carrying his invitation to Hogwarts.

9. Gandalf attempts to recruit Mystique to infiltrate the Brotherhood of Dwarves.

8. Gollum has an extended fight sequence with the girl in the well from The Ring.

7. Kevin Costner dancing with the orc’s steeds.

6. Bilbo and his gang of dwarves prove that the ghost haunting the mine was really Old Man Theoden from the General Store.

5. Katy Perry’s song and dance number with Smaug.

4. Our heroes must detour around the Kingdom of Arizona, because one of the dwarves was not properly documented.

3. Peter Jackson did not have time to show the Balrog shooting first, but will correct that in the extended edition.

2. Stephen Covey lecturing on the Seven People of Highly Effective Hobbits.

1. Sam Jackson makes a cameo to talk with Gandalf about the Avengers Initiative.

 

Follow more of NegativSteve’s rants on his Tumblr: http://stevehatesaquaman.tumblr.com/
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