(Please note: I did not make any of these up. Professional writers made good money to create these characters.)
11. Demolition Man, or “D-Man” – Not the Sylvester Stallone film, although Stallone is also a comic character who should not be made into a movie. I am referring to the former super-steroid-addicted-pro-wrestler turned homeless member of the Avengers. Probably not the best role model for youngsters
10. The Inferior 5 – A DC comedy superhero team from the 60s, featuring Awkwardman, White Feather, the Blimp, Merryman, and Dumb Bunny. The names just scream “Action figures!”
8. Megaton Man – Don Simpson’s indie comic used superheroes as a metaphor for Cold War politics. It was a very good comic, but in 2012, no one gives a damn about Cold War politics.
6. The Boy Commandos – Jack Kirby’s tale of an “Elite squad of orphaned children” fighting in World War 2 seemed heroic in the 40s, but now it would just be considered child endangerment.
3. NFL Superpro – Considered by many to be the worst comic book Marvel ever published, this was the story of an injured ex-football player who fights crime with an indestructible football jersey. Throw in some evil cheerleaders and a giant mutant mascot, and the script just writes itself. A re-imagining of this character as NHL Superpro probably won’t happen, either.
2. Thor, Frog of Thunder – Don’t get me wrong, Walt Simonson’s story about Thor, magically transformed into a frog and fighting rats in Central Park is a classic, I just don’t want to see Toni Darling change her costume.