Top 11 Grim and Gritty DC Superhero Films

June 21, 2013

DC comics finally has a hit film not featuring Batman. To keep the momentum going, they are going to start churning out new films using the same proven formula.

11. Man of Arrows – To avenge the death of his god-daughter and the destruction of Star City, Green Arrow must track down the villain Prometheus and snap his neck, all while showing off his perfect abs

10. Woman of Wonder – To save the world from the mental domination of the evil Maxwell Lord, Wonder Woman must snap his neck, and then make out with Superman

9. Man of Magic – To save his reputation from the evil Keanu Reeves, John Constantine must snap his neck

8.Man of Lantern – To save his girlfriend from the clutches of Hector Hammond, Hal Jordan must snap Hammond’s neck, then free himself from being trapped under his ginormous head

7. Man of Bats – Bruce Wayne gets fed up with Alfred’s sarcasm, and snaps his neck

6. The Other Man of Steel – To reclaim his neighborhood from the gangs, John Henry Irons builds a suit of armor and fights crime. Then he snaps Shaquille O’Neil’s neck

5.Man of Speed – Flash is falsely accused of snapping Professor Zoom’s neck to save his wife, then a bunch of silly time travel stuff happens

4. Titans of Teen Go – When their pizza arrives with the wrong toppings, the Titans hunt down Poppa John and snap his neck. Then, Starfire has a lot of sex

3. Man of Plastic – Eel O’Brian gets his neck snapped, then ties it in a bow, because he is wacky

2. Dog of Steel – This one is for the kids. Krypto comes to earth to be with Kal-El, discovers that the Kent’s already have a dog, and rips his rival’s throat out.

1. Man of Fish – To save his last shred of dignity, Aquaman snaps his own neck

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